This is a question that I ask at least subconsciously every single day. Who am I? What am I doing? Up until now it's always been I am a Christian teenager who goes to Christian school and plays lots of sports and loves music, etc... But now, what am I? I'm a Christian. Despite all the hardship and the lessened amounts of time that I spend praying or thinking about God, I still know I am a Christian. I am a student. This part hasn't changed, although the school I go to has. I love college, but it's very different. My life really is so different than it was a year ago, my worldview has been opened up so much. And I am into girls. This part is so so hard for me. I have no idea how it fits in with all the other stuff, what does it make me? I feel like I have to give something up if I want to be myself. Either I give up my faith which just isn't an option for me, it's not worth giving up my belief in God just to be able to do what I want. But... is that all that being gay is? Doing what I want? I want to fall in love, I want to have what Kaelyn and Lucy have! ;)
(check them out on Youtube if you don't know who I mean.) I want that kind of happiness in a stable relationship, but guys just don't do it for me. I guess as of right now, being single, the decision isn't right on top of me yet. But if I ever meet someone new which I hope I do, I will have to get all of this sorted out somehow...
Love to all :)
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