Boyfriend?!?!

Well, here we go again... I'm in the process of getting a new boyfriend. Why you might ask? I guess I like inflicting torture on my own personal emotional wellbeing! But seriously, there is a guy at my school who is really nice and I've been spending a lot of time with. He likes me, and to our friends it's just like 100% obvious that we're going to date. So... I think I'll end up dating him. And this brings up a whole new issue... dating guys while you're in the closet. Honestly, I'd be fine not dating any guys ever again, but it's so important for me to keep up the straight image, like... so important. If I never date, people start to get suspicious and at least try to understand what's going on. I'm gay people! So suck it up! I honestly wonder a lot about how my life will turn out. Sadly, I think I know what's going to happen. I'm going to find a guy at college, marry him, have a job and kids and a nice house and do lots of fun adventurous things with my family, make sure my kids are totally punk awesome, but no one will ever know who I really am. I'm scared I'll get married and just never have the courage to tell anyone. Then I'll basically be doing what my dad did...and I'm not my dad. This is nothing like him, and I don't want to do that. I just don't know how to avoid it happening... and here I am getting a boyfriend, it's starting...

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peace out loves :)